


Fits and Starts

by FiKate



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Background Relationships, Break Up, F/M, Fade to Black, Getting Back Together, Kissing, Making Out, background alliance characters, jyn the librarian, that grew up, tumblr prompt fills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2020-12-17 17:42:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21058394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiKate/pseuds/FiKate
Summary: Jyn is a librarian and Cassian is an engineering student who works too hard during her shift. Many parts of this AU began as tumblr prompts but I decided to fill them out into a world. Jyn and Bodhi are flatmates, Shara and Kes are the social couple at the center of things, Cassian and Kay are fellow engineering students and Jyn and Leia are fellow anthropology students. At the beginning, Jyn has a casual boyfriend but there's no cheating involved in the story.





	1. Almosts

Jyn loved the library late at night, no one came near her reference desk, she could walk the stacks; to check on everything but the upper floors felt like hers. As midnight came around, the library was almost empty, except for a table near a window, where someone with dark hair and a determined set of their shoulders worked. 

No one should look that attractive while grumpy and half awake, Jyn knew she stared but he had messy brown hair and gorgeous eyes, “The library’s closing, time to pack up.”

“Sorry, yes, didn’t mean to keep you,” He gave her a tired smile and started to neatly put his laptop and notebooks away. Even though he was clearly half asleep, she noticed that everything had a place where it went. 

“You didn’t. I’m still doing my check,” She smiled and hurried away, she should have asked for his name. While she was closing up her desk, she saw him walk by and waved.

By the time she got back to her place, she realized she had recognized those books, Bodhi used them. Bodhi was curled up on the couch watching some home show when she sat down beside him, “I think I met someone from your engineering course.” 

“Oh, who?”

“I don’t know his name but he was asleep in the library. He had brown hair, intense eyes and oh god,” She couldn’t believe how she was talking, like a high school kid with a crush. 

Bodhi looked over at her and smiled, “Probably Cassian, hardest worker, really quiet but nice smile when he shows it. I thought you and Jonah were still together.” 

“We are. I think. We are when we’re together and I don’t want to date Cassian. I just wanted to know his name, he’s too skinny to be my type anyway.”

“Right,” He said and handed her the bag of crisps he was eating.

Jyn took the crisps and started eating, Bodhi got her, he knew she needed to be fed and listened to.

* * *

The party was loud and Jyn was already tired of it. She and Jonah had argued over something stupid and were broken up again. Jonah was a good kisser and they had fun whenever they were together if they weren’t arguing.And now she didn’t have anyone to kiss at midnight. It was a kind of silly tradition but she liked it. She stopped when she noticed someone leaning against the wall, the profile looked familiar. At her step, they glanced over and she realized it was Cassian and her heartbeat a little faster, “Happy New Years.” 

He was in a dark suit with an open collar, she thought she could see some of his chest hair in the light then he smiled at her. Bodhi was right, it was a gorgeous smile and she leaned next to him, “Happy New Years. You’re from the library. I’m Cassian.” 

“Jyn, I know. Bodhi told me your name.”

“Bodhi, you’re …,” He faltered not knowing what word to put in there and she said quickly, “Flatmate, friend, we’ve known each other for ages.” 

Then the countdown started and she was grateful for the tall heels of her boots which meant she wasn’t too far down from his face, “Do you have anyone to kiss?” 

Jyn could swear she saw him blush, there was definite red on his neck, “No.” 

Before he could say more, the clock struck midnight and she kissed him. He tasted of champagne and his scruff was a wonderful tease on her skin. His hands were on her hips, holding her steady as at what felt like the same moment, they opened their mouths. The silk of her dress felt thin under his hands when suddenly the lights strobed as everyone yelled. She didn’t want to break the kiss and felt that he didn’t either as she slowly moved back to rest partly against the wall and him.

Then Leia’s voice cut through the crowd, “Jyn, where are you?” 

“Sorry, rain check on this,” Jyn said as she kissed him again and left. Whatever Leia was calling her for better be important.

* * *

Cassian didn’t know why he was at this party, no, he knew why, because he’d been told he had to come by Shara. Kay had even agreed because he was apparently studying too much.

So he was here leaning on the wall of Shara and Kes’ place in the hope that maybe Jyn would show up. At least the beer was good and he wondered how much longer he would have to stay before he could leave and not be rude. Someone touched his shoulder and he almost spilled his beer as Jyn whispered, “Is he here?”

“Who? Why are you whispering?”

“My ex, the loud one boring Bodhi,” He followed her gaze and didn’t recognize who Bodhi was talking to but the man was loud and maybe Polynesian. Her ex looked like a rugby player.

If that was her type then he shouldn’t bother and took another drink of beer, “He’s not looking over here. You can make a clean getaway.”

“I don’t want to do that. I want to enjoy the party,” She sounded so stubborn and Cassian allowed himself a little smile.  
“Then enjoy it, he’s not important.”

Jyn looked at him and truly smiled, he was glad he was leaning against the wall, “You’re right. And I owe you a drink or a dance or something for New Year’s.”

New Year’s when they’d kissed under the fireworks but then there hadn’t been more. Too much work, not enough time, he didn’t know the right words.

“Right, if you say so,” Owing wasn’t how he’d wanted to think of that night but maybe she did.

She didn’t shift her gaze and reminded him of Kay's determined gaze. Then she got even closer and stood up on her toes before kissing him, so quickly it didn’t seem real. He dared to kiss back, hoping for more and she leaned against him as she opened her mouth. Time slipped away until she broke the kiss and said, “I want to.”


	2. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn and Cassian spend time together as a couple from studying together to taking care of each other.

Cassian rubbed his eyes, he needed to concentrate but he was doubting his ability to tell the vectors apart when there was a knock, “Who is it?”

“Jyn, let me in,” She sounded out of breath.

“Yes, come in,” He pushed himself up as she came in and closed the door before sitting on his bed, “I’m only here to establish an alibi.”

“Oh, an alibi?”

“For Bodhi, he wants to go out with Luke but hasn’t actually asked him out yet. So we were going to study together and I’m not watching them make eyes at each other again and told him we’re studying.”

“Where are your books?” He didn’t see a bag with anything large enough to hold what she’d need.

She rolled her eyes at him before laying down on the bed and he was suddenly aware of her warmth and the smell of her herbal shampoo. He wasn’t prepared for Jyn today, “Alibi, not actual work. What’s this?”

“Engineering, I have a quiz this week,” Maybe if he wasn’t as close it would work better since he didn’t know what she wanted from him.  
They’d kissed before and now his bed was far too small as she read over the vectors, “And you’re falling asleep over them.”

“I’m not.”

“Your eyes were almost closed when I came in,” Then she closed his book and put it on the floor.

“Jyn, I’ll lose my place.”

“No, you won’t. You’re too organized for that,” Then she put her hand on his chest and he wondered if she could feel his heart beating, “I need a nap and so do you.”

“Maybe,” He shifted enough to curl his arm around her and then she actually moved closer before looking up at him.

“Nap first,” Then she leaned up enough to kiss him, “Then we’ll ‘study’ later.”

* * *

Jyn could hear Cassian’s coughing as she entered the third floor of the library. He’d been coughing every time that she’d seen him in the past week or two, though it wasn’t as often as she wanted. It was an oddly cold Spring and everything seemed to be due. She walked over to his table and sat down giving him a glare.

Quickly he looked up which set off more coughing, “Jyn, you’re working?”

“Not tonight, you should be in bed,” She had been going to offer to take this shift but Cassian needed to be dealt with.

“I don’t feel good but I have to keep working,” He was trying to be firm though the paleness of his face worried her.

“Pack up,” She could be every bit as determined as he could.

“No, I can’t,” He said and Jyn thought for a moment she could see him picturing his calendar.

“Yes, you can. I’m your girlfriend, you have to listen to me,” As soon as Jyn said it, she realized that she’d never said that before. They were together but saying it, she liked it and she started closing books.

He stared at her, then coughed as he nodded with one of his little smiles, “I’m listening and going.”

Getting everything together went quickly and he stood up with only a slight wobble. His room was close and once they were inside, he sat down on the bed with a look of relief.

“I told you that you needed to rest,” It felt good to be listened to and obeyed. He started to take his shoes off then stopped for another coughing fit.

Since this was Cassian, he had to have some supplies, which she found on top of his bureau. An unopened cough syrup, “Cassian, how long have you had this?”

He blinked at her blearily from his bed, “A week, I bought it last Sunday then never had the time to take it.”

“You’re an idiot and lucky that you have me to take care of you.” She watched him down a dose before helping him get ready for bed. He was partway there and she’d been in his room enough times that she knew where his sleeping things were. There was only one odd moment when he started coughing while changing his shirt. Cassian slowly got under the covers, but kept trying to keep hold of her hand, “Don’t want you to get sick.”

“I don’t want to get sick,” Jyn said as she laid down beside him, “But I want to make sure you actually sleep.”

His half smile was visible from the pillow as he nodded and closed his eyes, “I will. I do what my wonderful girlfriend tells me to.”

* * *

Jyn marked her place in her book as Kay went into his third discussion of a calculation, she’d lost track of which one. Cassian glanced at her and offered her his shoulder to lean against before pointing out an error in what Kay had said. She rested her head on his blue sweater, it was so soft, the engineering library couch protesting at the movement. Tomorrow she would find red threads everywhere thanks to the old upholstery but this was Kay’s favorite place to study and there was a major assignment coming up. In theory, she was reading about cultural tourism in Africa but that could wait.

“Jyn?” She could feel Cassian’s breath on her neck and shifted so he had more access.

“Is she truly asleep?” Kay’s voice cut through her thoughts and she opened her eyes, they were still in the engineering library.

“No, I’m not. Who won?”

“Won what?” Cassian asked as she sat up.

“Your argument about I think a vector.” She’d heard something about trajectory.

“Not a vector, we were discussing the optimal flight path to Mars.” Kay answered.

She smiled as she understood that explanation. “Oh, I didn’t understand engineer.”

Both Cassian and Kay gave her a confused look and she kissed Cassian on the lips, enjoying the tickle of his finals’ scruff.

“You don’t have to and I’ll take you back to your room.” Cassian said with one of his small smiles, that showed his dimple.

“I like listening.” She did, they spoke a different language and she knew from Bodhi that they were really good at what they did. And there had been times that Cassian had sat while she and Leia discussed anthropology.


	3. Interlude in the Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn has found a secret room in the library and shares it with Cassian to give them some added privacy and she loves the thrill.

“Jyn, where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.” She was smirking as she tugged him down a hallway he hadn’t even known existed in the library. He didn’t always like surprises but they were different with Jyn. She would just do something and he’d follow, unsure where he’d end up but she’d yet to lead him wrong. He wanted to be more like her instead of always doing failure analysis in his head. And the supplies that he’d brought with him were securely packed in his messenger bag so should be safe whenever they got where they were going.

Finally they reached a hall that was somewhere near the top floor but he’d lost track of where. Overhead, he could hear the rain getting harder, they must be near the roof. He would have to find the blueprints for the library.

Jyn gave his hand a squeeze. “We’re here.”

Then she unlocked the door with an older key and opened it. Inside she flipped a switch to light the room, he followed her in and stared at a parlor. She grinned at him, getting him inside to shut the door. “Where are we?”

“I think it used to belong to a librarian who lived here.”

There was an old long chair that wasn’t really a sofa, he never remembered what they were called and Jyn draped herself over it. “Come here.”

The look in her eyes drew him closer. “At your command.”

“I like that. I command you to kiss me.”

He dropped his bag and heard a few crinkles which got her attention, but by then he was beside her and kissing her so she wouldn’t have a moment to think. The chair thing made it easy to lay down and he groaned when she tugged at his waistband.

“Get caught?” He said in between gasps as she shifted against him just so.

“Door’s locked. No one knows where we are. Don’t stop making that sound.” She said against his neck as she kissed him.

“Won’t.” He moved his hands under her shirt feeling her smooth skin and rocked her against his hips as he became achingly hard. Thinking was tricky but he had to make her feel good as he gently moved his hand up over her bra, he could feel it was different than other times, thinner or lacier, “Jyn, what do you want?”

She arched into his touch and he groaned, “Your hands on me.”

* * *

Jyn loved the way Cassian looked at her as if she was the only thing that mattered even though she knew he was worrying about sneaking into the library. But she would distract him as she pulled her shirt off to show off the starry bra she’d found. The way his eyes grew bigger made her wriggle with satisfaction.

“That’s new?” Of course he would notice that she hadn’t worn it before.

“It is, do you like it?” She arched her back and got a groan from him as he started tracing the stars on the bra.

“Yes, shows and doesn’t show you,” His fingers and lips were light touches on her skin, the lace making everything more. The old chaise lounge squeaked under her as she felt the worn cloth on her back and tangled her hands in his hair. She pulled him up for a long kiss on the lips as he slipped her bra off her shoulders as she pressed herself to him.

“You’re wearing too much,” Jyn gasped as she felt him in just the right spot. With a few tugs and many kisses, his shirt joined hers on the floor and then there was only them.

* * *

Cassian loved how Jyn looked when she was satisfied, everything about her seemed to glow and soften. Her nipple was rosy and pink as it peeked through the starry lace of her loosened bra and he gently circled it. She smiled up at him, adjusting in his arms, “Mm, like that but want snacks. I know you brought them.”

“I did, one last nibble,” He said and gently took her nipple in his mouth. Jyn sighed and pushed her breast closer to him as he gave one good kiss before pulling back and kissing her on the mouth, she put her hand into his hair to kiss him back.

Then she leaned back with a lazy smile, “Best kisses and I think I can reach the bag from here.”

As Jyn stretched, he rested his hand on her skin before reaching over to help her get his bag. Once they had it, Jyn sat up, letting her bra straps slip off her shoulders as she flipped it open. Her grin was wonderful as she saw what he’d packed, “All my favorites.”

“The ones that would survive the travel, chilaquiles will have to wait until later.” And he would make them for her, tomorrow.

“Where did you find mint tim-tams?” She kissed his cheek as she opened the bag, resting the cookies between them.

“The grocery store I go to. Maz loves finding special requests and we trade recipes,” Finding Maz’s market had been one of the best discoveries of his time at school.

“I need to go there again with you,” Jyn said and Cassian enjoyed her determination and that she wanted to know more about him.

“We will,” He kissed her and now she tasted of chocolate, “Thank you for bringing me here.”

“We’ll come back, the chaise lounge is made for eating snacks and trysts.” She was smirking as she wriggled and ate another cookie.


	4. Overthinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the start of their senior year, Cassian worries about time management and things get bad with Jyn. It takes their friends' help but they end up figuring everything out.

Summer passed sooner than Jyn had expected with late night phone calls and too few visits with Cassian. Then the work began in earnest and she noticed one night as she was studying in Cassian’s room how concerned he looked. “What is it?”

He ran a nervous hand through his hair as he turned to her, “This year is going to be tough. I’m not going to have as much time for anything besides work. I don’t want you to waste the time you do have on me.”

She stared at him, he couldn’t mean that? “Waste it? I’m not wasting anything. Don’t be an idiot.”  
“I’m not, I want you to be happy.”

“And you think this will make me happy?” His logic didn’t make any sense.

“No, I don’t, but I want you to have a boyfriend who will actually be there for you.”

She stood up, she wasn’t going to listen to this, he didn’t get to know she was hurt. He had his priorities and she had hers, “I see. I’ll find one who will.”

It was easier than she expected to not see him. She considered changing her hours at the library but Bodhi told her that Cassian now studied with Kay in the Engineering library. And he had never gone to that many parties anyway, which helped. The hardest parts were moments that he would have liked; a salsa that she felt for an hour due to being too spicy, a clever bit of design, Bodhi and Luke finally being together.

Her work filled her time, she and Leia were putting together a symposium on racism in aid work along with their advisors and the Soc-Anth department. It was enough to make her forget that she’d had a boyfriend and it was college, everyone moved on. She did keep meaning to go on more dates and went on a few. Jonah was still a good kisser but he didn’t pay attention the same way Cassian had. And she missed his stillness, how easy it was to just be with him, he didn’t ask her to be anyone else.

* * *

Cassian heard the whistle of his phone and groaned as he looked up from his current calculations which weren’t doing what they were supposed to. He stared at the number until it resolved itself into Kes’, Kes, right, almost time for the Halloween party. It didn’t make sense for Kes to invite him, Shara was Jyn’s friend and while Kes was his, they weren’t close enough that he could ever see being chosen over Jyn.

His reply was the same one he’d been doing all semester, _can’t, have to work, have fun._

It covered everything and once he’d sent it, he rarely had to send it twice. And that was fine, he had Kay to talk to. When there was a knock at his door, it took him a moment to say. “Come in.”

Kes came in, pulling off his scarf as he sat down and said. “You’re coming to the party. Need your salsa.”

“I’ll drop it off.” He loved Kes and Shara’s parties but Jyn would be there and he didn’t want to ruin anything for her.

“No, you’ll stay and have one drink, talk to Shara, confirm that you’re not hiding and moping.” Kes had a determined note in his voice, Cassian didn’t trust it.

“I’m not moping. I’m working. She deserves better and… that’s it.” It wasn’t but he couldn’t allow himself to dwell on anything that might have been. They had a great time while they had it and now avoided each other. That part had been easier than he’d thought it would be, which left an odd ache. Really it was only chance that had pushed them into each other’s orbits; being at the same parties, his studying during her shifts. And now their trajectories had changed, his deeper into work and her towards work too. Bodhi had tried to be kind in his way, not mentioning her instead talking about projects and Luke. It was sweet that Bodhi thought he needed to care how Cassian felt.

Kes sighed and jerked Cassian from his thoughts, “That was moping, almost brooding. I didn’t realize it was this bad. Leia’s going to be smug.”

“Why would Leia be smug? Leia’s Jyn’s friend,” He’d met Leia, she and Jyn were a powerful pair and slowly bending the anthropology department to their will.

“Because she notices things and said she knew that you and Jyn weren’t fine.” Kes explained before getting up and looking around, “Now, we need to find you a costume.”

“No, you’re not in costume,” Cassian wasn’t going to let himself be his friends’ project, they meant well, but they hadn’t seen how hurt and angry Jyn was. She deserved better than him.

“I will be later. Shara’s figured it all out. You should wear that pirate shirt you have,” Kes said with a smile. There were going to be couple costumes, this would be even worse than Cassian expected.

He sighed, Kes had that look in his eyes, he wasn’t going to get out of this, “Fine, I’ll be there with salsa and in costume.”

Kes left with a satisfied smile, and Cassian found a stopping point with his work before going to do the cooking. If Jyn was there and the moment was right, he’d apologize to her. Then she wouldn’t have to ever see him again, but he’d know he’d done that.

He put off going to the party as long as he could but finally put on the silly shirt and carefully arranged the containers of salsa. The walk to Kes and Shara’s was chilly but not too bad and he immediately went to the kitchen to set the food out. He didn’t see Jyn and opened as a beer as he thought through what he wanted to say.

Han wandered into the kitchen and shook his head, “You expecting to get yelled at.”

Cassian almost dropped his beer as he saw Jyn and Leia in the living room, “No, I’m not.”

“Just checking. I’ll leave you to it,” As Han left the kitchen he shook his head.

This wasn’t a good idea, he didn’t want to talk to Jyn with everyone around, it would be awkward and make everything worse. So he finished his drink and slipped out the back.

In his room, he got a text, this time from Shara: _Thanks for the salsa, but you need to talk to her._

He answered: _I will, but not with everyone around._

_You better._ Cassian could almost hears Shara’s voice in her text. And she was right, but it had to be the right moment when Jyn felt safe. He didn’t want to hurt Jyn even more, because he’d been stupid.

* * *

Jyn turned over in bed she heard a knock at the door, she ached everywhere and wanted this cold or flu to be over, “Go away, I’m sleeping.”

“Just me,” Bodhi said and he peered around the door and Jyn thought she saw someone beside him.

Then Cassian was there and she sat up and started coughing as Cassian said, “I shouldn’t have come. I brought you some soup since Bodhi said you were sick.”

She could smell the soup, chicken and maybe even ginger and it was nice to hear Cassian’s voice, “Heat some up for me.”

Bodhi smiled and came beside her bed to hand her a tissue, “I’m going to go study with Luke.”

“Coward, you can’t bring him and leave.” This was just like Bodhi to try and fix things, he didn’t like people to be sad.

“He made you soup and you two have been sulking for too long.” Bodhi said patiently, he was far too patient.

“Not sulking, he broke up with me.”

“I’m not having this conversation again. Have your soup, drink your tea and talk to him,” Bodhi said before leaving with a little smirk.

On that line, Cassian was waiting at the door and the smell of the soup made her start to feel better, “What kind is it?”

“Chicken but with ginger since I know you like it and camomile tea with honey,” He was carrying both and clearly wasn’t sure where to go. When he walked in, he came near her bed as if he was going to sit next to her and then stopped himself. She reached out and he came forward, putting the big mug of soup in her hands, her favorite one with galaxies on it and a spaceship that appeared in the heat.

“Thank you, I’ve missed your cooking,” It was more than she’d meant to say, she knew she should still be angry but she was too sick. The aroma went up her nose as he set the tea down and she took a careful sip, closing her eyes to keep from seeing how he was doing. Once she’d had a few mouthfuls, she looked at him, he looked tired. Not as bad as she felt but he didn’t seem happy, which he shouldn’t. Her throat began to tickle and she started coughing, she had a few sips of tea, then she closed her eyes to sleep. Later when her head didn’t feel full of cotton, she’d tell him off, if he was still around.

Jyn woke up to the soft light of her moon lamp and sat up, before dashing off to the bathroom. After washing her face, she looked at her paler than usual self and stuck her tongue out then paused as she saw an open laptop in the living room. When she got closer, she could see Cassian’s hair sticking out as he’d fallen asleep on the couch. She sat down beside him, he hadn’t been asleep long as his laptop was still awake to something called Jyn. It was about her and in Spanish, she started reading.

_I miss you, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you second best to my work, because you deserve the best. And I didn’t want to let you down._

Then it stopped, Jyn stared at the screen and looked down at Cassian before checking when the document was created, about a week after they broke up. She sighed as she leaned back, tucking the blanket up to cover his legs then coughed. If that’s how he felt then he had to say it to her. He stirred in his sleep but didn’t wake up, Jyn went back to bed but left his laptop open, that way he would know she’d seen it.

* * *

Cassian blinked to get the sun out of his eyes and almost fell off the couch, he was still at Jyn and Bodhi’s and someone had put a blanket on his feet. His back ached and he rolled his shoulders as he sat up to his open laptop, he must have forgot to close it last night. When he unlocked it, his letter to Jyn was staring back at him, whoever put the blanket on him might have seen it. On his way to the bathroom, he saw that Bodhi’s room was still empty, so Jyn had seen it. Once she was awake, he’d talk to her and then she could kick him out.

He went to check on her, gently touching her forehead to test her temperature. She grabbed his hand and held it, before blearily opening her eyes at him and saying, “Mm, morning.”

Cassian was slightly afraid to shift his hand too much and said, “You don’t feel feverish. I can make you some tea.”

Jyn focused on him and dropped her hand as if she realized what she was doing, which hurt but made sense. In the kitchen, he made her up a ginger tea with honey and as he handed the mug to her, met her eyes and took a breath before saying, “I’m sorry. I was scared that I wouldn’t be good enough in my work or with you and lost you.”

She was quiet but didn’t look away or tell him to leave which was something. Then she leaned up and twisted a piece of his hair around her finger, “I accept your apology, but only I get to decide if you’re good enough for me. And for someone so smart, you can be really stupid.”

He breathed and sat down on the bed, resting his head on her chest, feeling her hand in his hair.

“Do you have anywhere to be?”

“No, just here,” He said quietly and thought he could feel her smile.

“Good, because I need to rest and so do you,” Her mug clinked on her bedside table as she put her arms around him as he moved onto the bed. Then he tilted his head up to kiss her on the lips and then she coughed and laughed, “You’ll get my cold.”

“That’s okay, it's yours.” He said and then she laughed with a few coughs and he felt hope. They’d find a way through all their work and their lives, but for now, for now, he was with Jyn again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the last chapter, thank you for being patient with me as I worked on this and it changed shape on me.


End file.
